Our fabulous baby monitor that I have come to love stopped working. Now, I know what you're thinking - how hard could it be to replace a pair of white walkie talkies? Well, my friends, this baby monitor is (was) not yo' mama's monitor. The choices in baby monitors these days are truly fantastic - digital video, anyone? - and that's exactly what mine is (was).
Before I continue, let's explore what it's like to buy anything for a child these days. I know my mommy friends will sympathize.
The baby gear market is a truly fascinating thing. When I was pregnant with Little Ricky I remember walking into Babies R Us to register. I took one look at the entire wall that is devoted to pacifiers and bottles, started sobbing (yes, seriously) and walked right out. How on earth could one tiny person possibly need so much stuff? And how do I possibly choose?
So what do I do when I find myself in an unmanageable situation? I enlist the help of Mother Ethel.
I explained to her that I could not register alone, so she willingly joined me on the next trip. After seeing aisle after aisle of anything-and-everything-your-new-baby-could-need, she agreed that visiting a baby superstore to register felt more like maneuvering a mine field. Ever the optimist, she assured me we would somehow plow through all of the baby *expletive* until we registered for everything we actually needed (and yes, we needed the wipe warmer. It is fantastic and amazing, and although many people said it's a waste of money it's NOT. It's just not.)
The problem with baby stores is the sheer amount of choices. There are at least 37 choices for everything! Don't believe me? Take a field trip to Babies R Us; I promise it will blow your mind. Along the way, Mother E talked about what baby shopping was like in the good ol' days. Mothers would go buy the crib, because there was only one choice. Similarly, mothers bought the highchair, the car seat, and the stroller... because there was only one choice! What I wouldn't give to go back to simpler times.
Three hours later, we left the store exhausted, yet triumphant. We finished! We actually finished! Hooray for Mother Ethel!
*Side note: Ricky was more than willing to help me register, but he quickly pointed out that if I didn't know what to get, he definitely wouldn't know. In hindsight, I wonder if this was his way of avoiding the baby superstore. Well played, Mr. Ricardo.*
As if there isn't enough to buy for your new bundle of joy, each item choice comes with a subconscious message (and by that I mean completely conscious marketing ploy) that if you don't buy the very best one you are intentionally trying to harm your child. If you don't buy the top of the line item, your child will grow up as an insecure child who will undoubtedly turn into a dysfunctional adult. Sound dramatic? Tell that to the saleswoman who insisted "The higher the coil count in a crib mattress, the better your child's physical strength and bone growth. You want the best for your child, don't you?" Sorry lady, I will never pay $300 for a crib mattress. Never. I settled for the middle-of-the-line mattress and guess what? No skeletal deformities in either child (so far). Booyah!
The point of the story is to show that choosing things to buy for your baby is an often overwhelming task, so the idea of having to research and then go purchase a new baby monitor made me cringe.
There I was... monitorless and unsure of what to do next. Ricky and I decided the Bulldog would sleep in our room again until we found a new monitor. The rule in our house is that a new baby can stay in our room until he or she is sleeping through the night, because who really wants to walk all the way across the house to soothe a crying baby at 3 am? Not this girl. So after ousting Little Ricky from our bedroom at 10 weeks and the Bulldog at 12, I wasn't particularly thrilled for her to rejoin us at 16 weeks old.
(Please don't misunderstand my need for a baby-less bedroom as cold or unloving. Honestly, I need a LOT of sleep myself, and all of the cute little noises babies make when they're asleep aren't so cute when they're keeping me awake. Ricky, however, remains unaffected. He managed to sleep through me screaming during labor contractions at 2 am (yes, seriously) so a few baby grunts and sighs are nothing to this guy. It makes me truly jealous.)
So anyway, The Greatest Digital Video Monitor Ever Made was a gift from a friend, and to be quite honest it never really occurred to me what a baby monitor costs. When I was pregnant I knew it was a gift that was coming, so Mother Ethel and I completely skipped the monitor aisle when we registered. When the monitor died recently, I started researching new ones online. I was hoping to find a decent video monitor for a decent price, but let me just tell you, $180 is NOT a decent price. That's about how much they cost, and that's not even the most expensive one! Ridiculous.
Being the money-conscious mama that I am, I looked at the basic audio monitors, but they just aren't the same. There's something fun about being able to watch your child on a tiny little screen while they sleep or play in their room (and now that I'm typing this out, yes - I do realize how creepy that sounds). Okay, so I'm creepy. That's fine. I want the video.
Realizing that a new video monitor was probably not in the family budget, I vowed to fix the broken monitor. I tried everything. I pressed each and every button... I took the batteries out... I put them back in... I tried a new wall plug. Guess what worked? Nothing.
Heartbroken and no closer to a solution, I tabled the problem for two weeks. But this past Saturday I decided I could no longer take the precious nighttime baby noises. I started back at square one. I Googled... I eBayed... I Craig's listed... and I looked at every baby website ever created. Turns out, the video monitors were still expensive two weeks later. Dang.
So I vowed to fix the broken monitor... again. And I tried everything.... again. Except... wait... What is that button? That button right there on the side camera? It must be new. It wasn't there two weeks ago when I tried everything to fix it the first time. Let me share a picture of the switch that magically appeared on the monitor:
The camera was off. Yep.
The crazy thing is, when I turned it on, it worked!
I know what you're thinking to yourself... Didn't Ashley go to college? Aren't people who go to college supposed to be at least kind of smart? Not only did I go to college, folks, I have my Master's degree. Yes, seriously. Good thing I almost spent $180 on a new monitor.
Alas, the Bulldog is now back in her room at night with a working monitor and I am a happy, well-rested, lady again.
When I called mother Ethel to tell her the conclusion of the baby monitor drama, she ever-so-optimistically said, "I actually think you're really smart. Most people would have bought a new one and probably wouldn't have been able to fix it like you did."
Thanks for the vote of confidence, Mom.
Speaking of conversations with Mother Ethel, I feel the need to share this particular gem that was about - you guessed it - baby monitors.
Mother Ethel: "Do you really need a baby monitor? I never had one when you all were babies."
Me: "But what if she cries? Wait, how did you hear us if we cried at night without a baby monitor?"
Mother Ethel: "We could hear you through the screen door if you needed us."
Me: "The screen door? You used a screen door in place of a baby monitor?"
Mother Ethel: "No, the the screen door was to keep the cats out. That way we could still check on you without worrying about cats in the crib."
And that, everyone, is why I love my mother.
TTYL,
Lucy
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