Who Will Ben Choose? LIVE!

NOOOOOOOO!!!!! I deleted the whole post!!! HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?! Two hours wasted. And he picked Courtney?! LAME.

To anyone who was with me live, I hope you enjoyed my one and only attempt at live blogging.

Peace out, Grobes!

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Tuesday, 3/13 - 7:45 pm

So it turns out live blogging was a terrible idea. I spent two hours typing furiously and somehow, some way I deleted the ENTIRE post. Really? Ugh. It has taken me almost 24 hours to get over it, but I am now ready to address my feelings about what I believe was the worst finale in Bachelor history.

You know how they say hindsight is 20/20? Well, in hindsight I believe I wasted 3 hours of my life. Now, usually I am psyched during the entire finale and especially during After The Final Rose, but for some reason last night seemed so boring. That may or may not have to do with the fact that Ben (Josh Groban) is quite possibly the most mediocre bachelor ever chosen for this show. The two adjectives that come to my mind first when I think of the Grobes? Vanilla and Magoo. 'Nuff said.

I promise after this post I will return to my normal blogging topics from this point forward. I have no doubt you all would probably rather read about anything else other than dumbface Magoo. With that being said, here are my observations and conclusions from last night's show.

1. Switzerland is beautiful. So is the Matterhorn. What about the Matterhorn? I saw the Matterhorn. We're flying over the Matterhorn! Why did Groban mention the stupid mountain 651 times?! Ricky suggested a drinking game - take a shot every time they say Matterhorn.

2. I wish I had been drinking during the show. Heavily. We should have actually played Matterhorn. There's that hindsight again.

4. I felt a strong urge to chant, "We want Kacie B! We want Nicki!" the entire 3 hours.

5. The overnight dates were completely lacking in skankiness. This was the girls' final chance to woo Groban, if you know what I mean. (Wink!) Where was skinny dippin' Courtney when we needed her?! All they did was talk about feelings which was excruciating to listen to since the Grobes has terrible conversational skills. What I really needed was for someone to get naked and make poor decisions so I could do what I do best while watching the show... judge! Ugh.

6. How many helicopter rides can we squeeze into one season? I get that they were in Switzerland but enough is enough!

7. Little Red Riding Hood called. I think she wants her cape back.

8. Cruella De'Ville also called. Yep. It was about the gloves.

9. Neil Lane can throw down $50,000 for a FREE engagement ring, but ABC couldn't get a hair styling handout from Pantene to tame Groban's hair? Help a brotha out and get that man some pomade!

10. After The Final Rose was just awkward. It's not even worth talking about. Except maybe Chris Harrison. He's so wise.

11. We already knew the Grobes was an ugly kisser. Turns out he's an even uglier crier.

 But maybe not as ugly as Courtney's BFF.

12. So Groban really picked Courtney? Really? Way to go, Grobes. Way. To. Go.

13. There has without a doubt been a large number of ass hats on the Bachelor over the years, however I have decided that Groban is by far the ass hattiest of them all. No contest.

Thank God this season is over.

Now there's just one more question...

What has two thumbs and can't wait for Bachelor Pad 3? This girl!